A White Bridesmaid Dress in Kuala Lumpur, Like a Needle in a Haystack
Yesterday I got a phonecall from my sister Robyn, my Maid of Honor, who inquired:
"I know you said white, but is ivory OK? How about cream? Or how about white with a colored sash?"
Apparently, white dresses are a dime a dozen if you are lucky enough to be a bride, but as any other contributing member to a sacred union, finding a white dress is not so freakin' easy. And, of course, I've asked all of my bridesmaids as well as my mom, grandma and mother-in-law to wear white.
This morning I received the following email from my best friend Cara, another one of my bridesmaids. She's studying to be a yoga teacher half way around the world and, apparently, our "white situation" has now reached international proportions, as Cara relates below:
The scene: The mall between the Petronas Towers in Kuala Lumpur. The shops here are so posh I really have no business even shopping there, but I looked at every white dress in every store anyway. I was (mistakenly) in Max Mara, until I looked at a price tag. I was legging it out of there when a nice saleslady blocked my path to ask if she could help me.
Cara: Um, well, I am looking for a white dress. I am in a wedding but the bride is wearing pink so the bridesmaids are wearing white.
saleslady: Oh... how about this? (points at dress with price tag I was running away from... dress is 1960s Sienna Miller type bubble thing)
Cara: Well, her dress is a 50s style, so I think that might look weird (plus it costs $800) (said under breath)
saleslady: How about a nice pastel colour?
Cara: Well, as I said, the bride is wearing pink, so I really need a white dress.
saleslady: How about peach?
Cara: Um, the bride is wearing pink. I have to wear white.
saleslady: peach would be nice.
Cara: (backing away slowly)
saleslady: (annoyed) I think you are going to have trouble finding something like that.
Cara: (running)
Add to this the situation of my mother-in-law who has reported that "white is not really a color she feels comfortable wearing" and we have a full on "white situation" of epic proportions.
Has any of them tried www.ariadress.com ?
I just looked and verified they have white (and ivory) as a color option. My BMs are getting their dresses there and they have various styles. My BMs are wearing different styles but the same color. They even have items that would be good for the mothers (except the one that doesn't want to wear white).
They might also check White House/Black Market (http://www.whiteandblack.com/store/home_intro.asp)
Good luck!
As a recent bride myself, may I give some unsolicited advice? If your mother-in-law doesn't want to wear white, please don't make her. Having your pictures all look a certain way matters far less than not annoying your future husband's mother.
As a former bridesmaid who was given a colour and told to pick any dress I can only say - white? Who is going to wear a white dress again? It's bad enough bridesmaids hardly ever wear their dresses again anyway (after springing for the things themselves, no less) but then to be limited to white? Surely you could be a bit more 'progressive' and let them buy a sexy black number that they might at least get their money's worth from. If you are insisting on white, atleast pick up the tab. S'all I'm sayin...
As one of the bridesmaids in question, I couldn't be happier with an excuse to buy a white dress. Everyone has a black dress; we're going to look really awesome and different, and I absolutely will wear the dress again (just maybe not to a wedding). And, I should point out for the fourth time, THE BRIDE IS WEARING PINK. Black dresses would look absolutely wretched. It's certainly more progressive than having us buy 4 matching lavendar dresses. Sheesh.
What Sam Harris said, above.
Amen, sister. I'm still irked when I recall having been a 'BM' required/guilted into hunting down a white dress that I did not want, that to add insult to injury was not even dye-able into a more flattering/re-usable color because of undye-friendly fiber content. (It was a dries van noten from Barneys I might have re-worn in a more palatable color. A few hundred bucks down the drain. BM indeed. ) Undoubtedly the white-dress requiring bride saw herself as progressive but in fact, white is not flattering to everyone (it washes me out!) in addition to being hard to find. G-d willing I am ever a bride, I will ask everyone in the party to wear whatever they feel fabulous in. It will be more than enough to have them there to share my simcha. I think it's bratty to require people to buy and wear clothes they don't enjoy - if you must, at the very least pick up the tab. 'Progressive'? please.
I totally and completely disagree with sam harris and oldguccibag. I think its fantastic to choose a color and then let your bridesmaids choose whatever dress they want. Thus far, NONE of the brides I have been bridesmaids for have done this. I have a closet full of expensive, unwearable bridesmaid dresses that I've purchased and never want to wear again. These were all cases of "you must wear this dress." You people are acting like she chose chartreuse...or peacock blue. It's white!? who doesn't wear white? It seems like Erica is letting her bridesmaids choose any dress, any style and any length...how, exactly is that being bratty? It seems pretty bratty to choose to buy a white dress that you claim to have not wanted in the first place and then brag about the designer label and pricetag on a bridal blog. Furthermore, why are you assuming her bridesmaids don't want to wear white? (especially after one above said that she is thrilled about it?).
As a recent bride, I love reading the bridal blog because I think its interesting to hear about other people's experiences as they plan their weddings. I'm a little confused and saddened by the fact that many feel the need to always criticize, deconstruct and pass judgment on any of the posters anytime they honestly discuss something on their mind (i.e. the recent post from the bride-to-be who confessed being disappointed about her ring).
Anyway, Erica: I think its pretty cool that you are having your bridesmaids wear white (and it sounds like your bridesmaids do too!). Your posts are always hilarious and I've really enjoyed following along with all of your planning.
good luck finding a husband, oldguccibag...seems like you need it.
Uh, has anyone seen a fashion magazine recently? White is pretty much the hottest color out there right now. Everyone is wearing it. Am I in some sort of alternative universe now where white and lime green have switched places? What's the big deal with white??
p.s. what color is your wedding dress going to be oldguccibag? I hope not white, because you really don't want to look washed out on your wedding day.
The white argument is kind of funny actually--as I mentioned above, I'm a recent bride, too, and I let my bridesmaids pick their own dresses within a pretty wide color palette. But even with that freedom, I found myself wishing on their behalf that I HAD picked white, because every darn dress this spring/summer is white, as MeToo points out.
(But I still stick with my position on letting your MIL wear something else).
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Having bridesmaids wear white will become the new in thing. I'm doing it because I'm wearing blue. Although I live in America and I'm a citizen, it's a tradition for Polish women to wear blue when getting married. Therefore what other color could my bridesmaids wear? I'm actually considering silver, but I'm searching for white, or a close form of it.
Kudos for new brides trying new things! Go for white for bridesmaids' dresses.
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I'm doing off-white dresses for my bridesmaids for a fall wedding...I can't think of a more elegant color scheme!! Whites and creams will make the flowers and everything else pop. Way to go, stick with white, it will be beautiful!!!
and if you're interested, the dresses are from "the dessy collection." They have a website, it might be dessycollection.com, not sure, I google it every time. Good luck!