Friday, July 4th

While the gin-soaked golfers at the Maidstone formally abandon their wives, mistresses and kids for the rest of the summer, in the city it’s a hot-dog-and-potato-salad-binge day—although last time we checked, we definitely don’t have a backyard, so we’re inexplicably forced to endure the heartburn-inducing Nathan’s International July Fourth Hotdog Eating Contest in Coney Island, featuring people who engage in gluttony for a living and not just for shameful late-night stress relief. (Last year’s winner ate 66 hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes. Why are we celebrating this?) Later, helping to alleviate the general feeling of nausea will be Kim Gordon and Sonic Youth, who are hot in that ageless sort of way, performing at Battery Park, thereby allowing us to relive our six months of grungy rebellion in middle school, when we wore ripped jeans and smelled pot (before deciding against it).

[Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest, Coney Island; Sonic Youth and the Feelies at Battery Park, 3:30 p.m., www.rivertorivernyc.com]

mbryan@observer.com