Officials Roast Randi Weingarten

Here are some lines from last night's birthday roast of United Federation of Teachers president Randi Weingarten, who turns 50 on December 18:

“I’m sure many people have gotten you Depends and other things like that, so get used to it.” -- Bill Thompson

“I do remember, and will always remember, that you left me, for Joel [Klein].” -- Former Schools Chancellor Rudy Crew

“She runs through relationships like she runs through her staff directors.” -- Finance Commissioner Martha Stark

“Lets examine Randi’s name. Now in England, randy is a synonym for horny. And we know Randi loves Jack Daniels. So, her name should really be Horny WhiskeyGarden.” -- Tom Drumgole

“Speaking of perplexing, since most of us think of Randi as our captain of labor who goes toe to toe with mayors and governors, I was trying to figure out why Randi endorsed Governor Pataki in 2002. So tonight, I figured it out. In the Hamptons, the only thing in tow with Randi is her cocktail, a cosmopolitan, and a bikini...sometimes. So, you might think she supported the governor because of the Campaign for Fiscal Equity lawsuit . Now I know it must have been those pictures, with the sometimes in the bikini. But that must also explain why I’m not state comptroller.” -- Martha Stark

Other highlights:

While looking for his coat check ticket, David Yassky jokingly asking Christine Quinn if she could “pull some strings” and help him get it back.

New York A.C.O.R.N. director Bertha Lewis greeting Bill Thompson with a hug and a kiss, calling him, for some reason, “T-bone.”